Fashion Blunders (Makeup Edition)

I just want to take a moment to speak directly to my sisters. It's time to have a heart to heart about our body image. Every woman needs to know that she was fearfully, and wonderfully made. Every woman is beautiful in their own way (despite what people may say). #PowerToTheWomen!!

Now with that being said, why...just why do you use fashion which is supposed to enhance the natural beauty you already have and somehow find a way to make it do the adverse to your faces? How is that possible? How is it possible that some of you can walk down the street looking like someone tried to put out a fire on your face with a fork doused in makeup? Yea I said it. I said it cuz i care. I said cuz this is an intervention. I said it cuz there needs to be change! (That was good... maybe i should run for parliament :D)

So imma do something different this time around. My awesome sister from another mister, Ann3ie (look her up on Youtube now! You know you wanna ;]) made this awesome video on what Guyanese women have done to themselves using makeup. It's the harsh truth. This what you guys need to hear. 

Check it out and I always wanna hear what you guys think. Hit me up.

-Third World Black Girl

Guyanese Weddings

 Every little girl dreams of the day she'll get married. Even if she doesn't realize it, she plans what her dress will look like, the venue and even the menu. However, what Guyanese brides don't plan for are the Guyanese people that they invite.
Now I understand that you can't have your wedding without inviting your family. I get it. But there are certain things that I just can't handle seeing at Guyanese weddings.
For those of you that have never had the privilege of attending this type of event, here's my list of typical Guyanese wedding experiences and occurrences (more specifically the reception).

1. Seating woes: Now I attended a lovely wedding reception (or what was supposed to be lovely)  at a lovely, very sophisticated banquet hall. The people even took the time to put table numbers and reserved signs on the tables. Can you believe these bare faced barbarians sat at the reserved tables? I mean come on! Are you family? A close friend? Part of bridal party? If the answers to those questions are "no", then leave...just leave. You simply have no common sense and i'm allergic to the lack thereof.
2. Reception-only goers: Now these are the people that I think I would physically remove from the premises. You have the audacity to NOT come to my ceremony (considering you livin' round de corner) but you travel probably 45 mins to go to the reception and behave as though nothing is wrong?? Really?? Yuh out ah Order! In order to now partake in the food that I paid for, you must make a monetary donation of no less than $15.000 at the door. I'm very serious about this.  
3. Tiny Humans: Now, the invitation says "ADULT SEATS ONLY". Guyanese people still walk with they pickney, they neighbor pickney and even pickney they picked up on the road for the sake of feeding more people. Can these people not read? Are you incapable of finding someone to watch your children for one night? Plus to top that off you have them screaming and running around at what is supposed to be a very intimate and blissful occasion? -_- Words cannot describe...they just can't.
4. The Epistles: Speeches are understandably a necessary feat at a wedding. We should have the chance to hear from the parents and close friends of the happy couple. However, if you know that your mother will go through your entire 23 years of life, event by event, then please at least consider your guests and give them their food one time nuh? Ow! Why must you be so long winded? They're married not dead! Spare us the 20 minutes of reminiscing and just say congratulations.
5. The Food wasters: Now I myself have experienced waiting so long for food at a wedding that I eventually lost my appetite. But some Guyanese people believe it's okay to collect a plate balancing a miniature Mt. Everest on it and then decide to eat half of it. Only half. You gluttonous feign. *Sighs* Sometimes I just can't understand the Guyanese human race. 
6. Stampedes: Now these typically occur near the end of the reception during the Tossing of the coveted bouquet. Now I don't know if Guyana is running out of men or if Guyanese girls just really want to experience going through their very own nuptials, but the savagery of these females for a bunch of fake flowers is real. Every time they call for all the single ladies I witness people getting maimed and seriously injured. Times are hard it seems.

The moral of the story kids is to be like me. Invite your immediate family and get married very quietly in Guyana. The other option is to not invite those people that you know will be ghetto. If those people are your family then my dear, may God be with you. 

**Disclaimer**

Before people get the wrong idea, not all Guyanese are this ghetto. I have simply pinpointed all the extreme cases of ghetto-ness that I've witnessed over the course of my 20 year lifespan.

-Third World Black Girl

Guess Who's Back...

Hey there everyone,

Yes, yes I am aware that I haven't posted anything in a very, very, very long time. I know. I'm sorry. Accept my humblest apology. I now understand the level of dedication and time it takes to maintain and update a blog on a daily basis. Can't say I didn't warn you in my first post though. I'm am inherently prone to being sporadic and disorganized even when trying to stick to an organized system of operations. -_- Don't judge me.

However, rest assured that I return brimming with new topics to rant about to my heart's content and for your literary pleasure. There will however be a few changes around here. The blog will now and forever henceforth have weekly posts (this may vary based on my mood and whether I actually have something to post about). 

I look forward to sharing my opinions and random thoughts with you and hopefully getting to hear some yours.

-Third World Black Girl