The Things That Make Me Sound Feminist

The other day as I was sitting in class and I decided to take a little peek at what my Facebook news feed was looking like (Just ignore the fact that it was during class... i'm still a very good student). As i was scrolling through the usual memes and inspirational quotes of the day one shared video caught my attention. 

In this video a woman was dancing with a man (presumably to dancehall music. I presume since I had to watch without sound so I wouldn't get caught) and things were going the normal route of bump and grind when the guy literally flung her to the ground, hung her from a tree and pretty much nearly injured her in efforts of 'hitting it hard'. Now most people would see nothing wrong with this (BTW these are the people I refer to as Numb minded farts) since it's just the normal thing you'd see in any dancehall video or club. I however was quite intrigued by the fact that people were laughing at this. It feels like some where along the line there was a switch in evolution we've reached our limit of intellectual status as humans now its time for us to get down back on our knuckles and knees and return to our trees. Since when is seeing a woman get flung around like a rag doll while being humped a funny thing? Okay Except in the case of it being watched by a bunch of neanderthals who are so brain beat by the system that there is goo in their heads where a brain should be. Am I missing something here?

Now this is just one instance of me noticing the objectification and downright mistreatment of women. You may disagree with me by saying, "Oh that's just culture. It's just a dance Kezra." Oh I know it's accepted across the Caribbean but why is it accepted in the first place. Call me old fashioned but I was raised thinking that women didn't deserve to be treated in that way...even if they were "just dancing". If anyone pays close enough attention we find that the common school of thought is that women are merely sexual objects placed on this earth to provide pleasure. We see it on television, hear it in our music on the buses and now we even see it on campaign trails (That was my Trump Card). Funny thing is, we have become so desensitized to it that we now even accept it. Now tell me, if our society accepts this kind of behaviour and thinking, why are we so shocked and outraged when rape or domestic violence or trafficking in persons or molestation is in our newspaper? Weird ain' it? How can I teach my child Rape with your clothes on is okay but rape with your clothes off... Oh no no nooo! Thats bad! 

Men are usually the monsters of stories like this but now even women have begun to act like and believe that they are meant to be sex objects. Most women now accept this treatment because they think that's how they're supposed to be treated. God help the simple minded brute that attempts to use me as his sex object. Yet this all societies fault which means this is all our fault since we set the trends. Therefore we can change them. Men, teach your women how to be ladies. Treat them like the queens they are. Women don't think you get off... teach your children the right way of thinking and quit treating each other like the next person doesn't deserve to be treated fairly. 

**Disclaimer: I am not a feminist...I just know how a female should be treated.

-Third World Black Girl

Third World Student Experiences

Every single person has at least once in their life questioned why we even go to school in the first place. C'mon, just admit it. The thing I don't understand is why most adults try to make us like school. We go to school, learn algebra (which we probably never even have to use again for the rest of our lives), bust our butts to get good grades, get a job and then work until we die. Yea, I'm so excited. You can feel it through your computer screen.




Now I'm sure that there are some of you out there that are probably saying, "But I like school! School is fun!" Yea... that's all great and everything but let me break down my schooling experiences for you. These are the main reasons why Guyanese children don't like school (from nursery to University).

1. There's always some kid with incontinence: Every single day there was at least one kid that didn't make it to the bathroom or just didn't even bother to get up. It was also more than likely that it was the kid that sat next to you. This why i still can't write the number eight properly. Instead of focusing on my curves all I could think about was the smell of milk and faeces next to me.
2. No lockers: Now this was pretty much why we envied (and probably still envy) 'First World" students. Disney movies did this to us. I've always wanted to be able to have a locker of my own. To leave my school books in it. To meet my friends there every morning before class. But then again in Guyana children used to steal your pens and pencils in 'front yuh face' so it's probably best that we don't implement those. 
3. Heavy Book Bags: In my day, we had to fetch every singe text book we would have needed for the day to school. Every single one. Every single day. For eleven years. This is why I look like the hunch back of Notre Dame! The Ministry of Education's new motto should be, "Proudly misshaping our nations children for generations." I think it'll catch on. 
4. Other students: Now this might solely apply to me since I generally never liked any other school children (with the exception of the chosen few that I did talk to). But, you have to deal with the overly smart ones, the 'popular pretty' ones, the 'i'm super philosophical' ones and then my favorite, the 'Arts stream never even made sense' students. To those people out there...





5. Tuition fees: Don't get me wrong...I totally get that Universities need to make money in order to keep functioning efficiently and yada yada yada. However, these people be ridiculous sometimes. Recent occurrences at the local university can attest to that. *Can I get an amen?* Some of us are fortunate enough to be able to pay cash but others end up owing the Government for loans. So you gave me a degree but I can't get a job to pay you back. Gee...thanks...

Pretty much everyone has their own school experiences and I can assure you that even the brightest scholars will tell you that friends were the only reason they walked through those doors everyday (additionally the threat of imminent death by the hands of their parents). Whether good or bad, all those experiences made school worthwhile.

-Third World Black Girl

Fashion Blunders (Makeup Edition)

I just want to take a moment to speak directly to my sisters. It's time to have a heart to heart about our body image. Every woman needs to know that she was fearfully, and wonderfully made. Every woman is beautiful in their own way (despite what people may say). #PowerToTheWomen!!

Now with that being said, why...just why do you use fashion which is supposed to enhance the natural beauty you already have and somehow find a way to make it do the adverse to your faces? How is that possible? How is it possible that some of you can walk down the street looking like someone tried to put out a fire on your face with a fork doused in makeup? Yea I said it. I said it cuz i care. I said cuz this is an intervention. I said it cuz there needs to be change! (That was good... maybe i should run for parliament :D)

So imma do something different this time around. My awesome sister from another mister, Ann3ie (look her up on Youtube now! You know you wanna ;]) made this awesome video on what Guyanese women have done to themselves using makeup. It's the harsh truth. This what you guys need to hear. 

Check it out and I always wanna hear what you guys think. Hit me up.

-Third World Black Girl

Guyanese Weddings

 Every little girl dreams of the day she'll get married. Even if she doesn't realize it, she plans what her dress will look like, the venue and even the menu. However, what Guyanese brides don't plan for are the Guyanese people that they invite.
Now I understand that you can't have your wedding without inviting your family. I get it. But there are certain things that I just can't handle seeing at Guyanese weddings.
For those of you that have never had the privilege of attending this type of event, here's my list of typical Guyanese wedding experiences and occurrences (more specifically the reception).

1. Seating woes: Now I attended a lovely wedding reception (or what was supposed to be lovely)  at a lovely, very sophisticated banquet hall. The people even took the time to put table numbers and reserved signs on the tables. Can you believe these bare faced barbarians sat at the reserved tables? I mean come on! Are you family? A close friend? Part of bridal party? If the answers to those questions are "no", then leave...just leave. You simply have no common sense and i'm allergic to the lack thereof.
2. Reception-only goers: Now these are the people that I think I would physically remove from the premises. You have the audacity to NOT come to my ceremony (considering you livin' round de corner) but you travel probably 45 mins to go to the reception and behave as though nothing is wrong?? Really?? Yuh out ah Order! In order to now partake in the food that I paid for, you must make a monetary donation of no less than $15.000 at the door. I'm very serious about this.  
3. Tiny Humans: Now, the invitation says "ADULT SEATS ONLY". Guyanese people still walk with they pickney, they neighbor pickney and even pickney they picked up on the road for the sake of feeding more people. Can these people not read? Are you incapable of finding someone to watch your children for one night? Plus to top that off you have them screaming and running around at what is supposed to be a very intimate and blissful occasion? -_- Words cannot describe...they just can't.
4. The Epistles: Speeches are understandably a necessary feat at a wedding. We should have the chance to hear from the parents and close friends of the happy couple. However, if you know that your mother will go through your entire 23 years of life, event by event, then please at least consider your guests and give them their food one time nuh? Ow! Why must you be so long winded? They're married not dead! Spare us the 20 minutes of reminiscing and just say congratulations.
5. The Food wasters: Now I myself have experienced waiting so long for food at a wedding that I eventually lost my appetite. But some Guyanese people believe it's okay to collect a plate balancing a miniature Mt. Everest on it and then decide to eat half of it. Only half. You gluttonous feign. *Sighs* Sometimes I just can't understand the Guyanese human race. 
6. Stampedes: Now these typically occur near the end of the reception during the Tossing of the coveted bouquet. Now I don't know if Guyana is running out of men or if Guyanese girls just really want to experience going through their very own nuptials, but the savagery of these females for a bunch of fake flowers is real. Every time they call for all the single ladies I witness people getting maimed and seriously injured. Times are hard it seems.

The moral of the story kids is to be like me. Invite your immediate family and get married very quietly in Guyana. The other option is to not invite those people that you know will be ghetto. If those people are your family then my dear, may God be with you. 

**Disclaimer**

Before people get the wrong idea, not all Guyanese are this ghetto. I have simply pinpointed all the extreme cases of ghetto-ness that I've witnessed over the course of my 20 year lifespan.

-Third World Black Girl

Guess Who's Back...

Hey there everyone,

Yes, yes I am aware that I haven't posted anything in a very, very, very long time. I know. I'm sorry. Accept my humblest apology. I now understand the level of dedication and time it takes to maintain and update a blog on a daily basis. Can't say I didn't warn you in my first post though. I'm am inherently prone to being sporadic and disorganized even when trying to stick to an organized system of operations. -_- Don't judge me.

However, rest assured that I return brimming with new topics to rant about to my heart's content and for your literary pleasure. There will however be a few changes around here. The blog will now and forever henceforth have weekly posts (this may vary based on my mood and whether I actually have something to post about). 

I look forward to sharing my opinions and random thoughts with you and hopefully getting to hear some yours.

-Third World Black Girl

Transportation Woes

Retrieved from: guyanachronicle.com

Stemming from the extra long weekend we had, I feel the need to comment on my travelling experiences for the past 4 days. I'm sure that anyone would naturally prefer having private, personal transportation on a daily basis. Some of us are blessed enough to have a car all to ourselves, however some of us aren't as lucky. For the rest of us, we're stuck sharing vehicular transport with other humans. Not just any type of humans. No Sir! We are forced to travel everyday with the most obnoxious and inconsiderate humans ever! 

Now let me break it down for you. I dream of travelling on American buses. I really do. Why? Because I've spent my whole lifespan having to experience minibuses. For those of you who don't know what a minibus is or looks like, it's a bus so small that only mini sized people can comfortably sit inside of it. Yea that's right, they were made for little people. So in Guyana, we have the pleasure of  being jammed up against some random person's leg on the way to work  in the mornings.

Here's a list of all the types of annoying people and things you'll encounter on a minibus:

• 
• The Conductors: I truly believe that conductors are the true visionaries and miracle workers of this world. You know why? Cuz they see space in the bus that no one else can. Just when you thought you couldn't be more uncomfortable, they find a way to prove you wrong.  Big up yuhselves conductors! Where there is no way you make a way...but not really. (Picture shows 39 passengers, including the driver, inside a 15 seat minibus...looks comfortable)
• The Drivers: Now I understand that you need to make money. I understand that "time is money". But why is it that if you're in such a hurry, you still have time to try to pick up every thing that moves on the side of the road. People be hardly outside their door and you bus drivers stopping to pick them up.
• "Fat People": I have nothing against fat people. However, I have something against fat people that know they cannot fit yet they force their body masses upon the other passengers. I also have a problem with skinny people believing that they are fat and need to take up extra space. Why y'all gotta be so rude? Don't you know I need space too? 
• Sweaty People: Sweating is a part of life. We all have to deal with it. BUT I cannot deal with your sweat on my clothes and skin. No. Don't touch me mortal! 
• Overly Friendly People: *Sighs* Now this could be rudeness but it's just me. When I'm on the bus I don't want to strike up long meaningless conversations with you random person. Leave me alone so I can stare eerily out the window in peace.
• Unnecessary Touchers: These people are similar to fat people. Only thing is they seem to think that your pheromones smell like chocolate and sunshine. They sit so close to you they leave no space for The Spirit between the two of you. When you can hear that person's breathing...they too close. 
• Loud, Distasteful Music: Some people like listening to Vybz and Alkaline at eardrum shattering volumes at 8 am. However, the majority of the general population would agree with me when I say that I don't want to spend 20-45 minutes listening to the descriptions of female unmentionables in agonizing detail. 

Based on the list I just wrote I'm sure you can tell that I get really aggressive toward other people in buses or any other type of transportation for that matter. But I'm sure that someone out there must agree with me on some of these. 

Third World Black Girl

Living In A Generally Unwanted, Unknown Counrty

Retrieved on: pinterest.com

Okay, i'll just put it out there now and say that I live in Guyana, South America. Not Ghana, as in the country located on the continent of Africa, like it's usually pronounced by our Northern counterparts. Yes Guyana, the piece of land shaped like a lady with wide hips between Suriname and Venezuela. Yea that one.  

Now there are many problems that we Guyanese face just as a result of living here. Going with my normal flow of limiting my list to the bare minimum, here are the three main problems Guyana faces which we have absolutely no control over.

1. We are generally disliked by our neighbors: Yes I said it kids. I just released the mother load. Believe it or not the rest of the Caribbean doesn't even like us. They basically tolerate us cuz we happened to be one of the first countries to sign the Treaty of Chaguaramas in CARICOM (feel free to google this stuff if you feel lost).  They don't even consider us to be part of the Caribbean. Reason being, we're not an island... Uhhh, Belize isn't an island. Why y'all be hatin'? We aren't even accepted by South America since we're the only English speaking country and also the poorest. How ya like that? We're basically the red headed step child that no one wants to be a part of the family but you still keep them cuz you don't want to look bad in front of social services. 


2. We are generally unknown: People always found it kinda weird that Guyana is snugly nestled between two well known countries (especially a country like Venezuela) and people still have never heard of it. However, I believe that i have unlocked the answer within the depths of my mind. You wanna know why? It's because of Jamaica. As soon as you mention that Guyana is part of the Caribbean the response you get is, " Oh! The Caribbean! Like Jamaica! Wat ah gwan mon?"  Okay first of all, the entire Caribbean doesn't have a Jamaican accent. Second, Jamaica isn't the Caribbean. Gee thanks Jamaica for creating such high tourism goals for the rest of us. Let's blame Jamaica!


3. We're known for the worst things ever: When we do get attention, it's from BBC or some other news company reminding the world of where the Jonestown Massacre happened. Yes, it happened here. We remember. We hardly even sell Koolaid in our supermarkets anymore. Even if we do no one buys it due to the fact that we're never allowed to forget. It's like communion only thing you're sipping on cherry Koolaid and you instantly think of Jim Jones instead of Jesus. Seriously though, we don't drink Koolaid... this is a Mak C country. 

Things get better at the end of the day since you'd find that most of the Guyanese population doesn't even care what the rest of the world thinks about us. They're actually pretty oblivious in most cases. I guess our motto should be changed from One People, One Nation, One Destiny to something like  Just Roll With The Punches since it's something we actually do.

Third World Black Girl

The Natural Hair Struggles

Retrieved from: blackhair.about.com

So since the emergence of "No More Creamy Crack", more commonly known as the Natural Hair Movement, a lot of women across the globe have signed on to the whole shin dig. A lot of us current Naturalistas originally thought that this transition back to the original textures of our hair would be fun and easy. Besides how hard could it be to regrow  and manage your natural hair? Oh you really wanna know? Let me tell you just how real the struggle is living with natural hair.

1. Would you grow already?!: Every one starts off on this journey full of hope for the future, daydreaming of the long curly mane they'll be sporting. Surfing Youtube day and night trying to absorb as much info as you can. On the other hand, no one thinks of the fact that your hair takes literally FOREVER to actually grow. Honestly sometimes it feels like your hair follicles hate you. Then you watch all those American girls on Youtube saying they've been growing their hair for the same amount of time and you'd think they were the far removed cousins of Rapunzel. 
2.  Oh mister sun, sun, mister golden sun: The sun can be your worst enemy when you're living in a hot tropical climate. You leave the house with your twist out on a fleekage level of HOT DANG and then during the ten minutes you take to walk to the bus stop  your hair's looking something like a dried out old sponge. No amount of hair mayonnaise can save you now. It's gone....it's just...gone.
3. We cool and everything, but don't touch: It seems that on your best hair day, when you took the effort to painstakingly place every single curl in the correct spot, that people be putting their unwashed hands up in your hair. I can tell you now that every single natural haired girl has considered either decapitating or punching those people in the face every single time. Not today Satan! Keep your hands to yourself until I give you permission to touch the merchandise (which may actually be never). 
4.  Why are you so high maintenance??!! WHY?!: Whenever you see a girl on the street with her natural hair looking like a pile of awesomeness on top her head, let her know it. Why? Cuz you don't know the struggle that is the process of actually making you hair look presentable for the next day. The time that it takes to wash, de-tangle, spin, twist, plait, comb through, moisturize and still get enough sleep to not look a pile of hot mess in the morning is serious. Naturalistas honestly make magic happen every morning (that is when we don't have weave in our hair lol).

The problems that I mentioned are not only faced by 'third worlders' but pretty much every woman that's going natural on the globe. Some have it worse than others but we're still all in the struggle together. I chose to limit myself to four points but believe me... the list can go on. And on. And on....

Don't get me wrong, I have thoroughly enjoyed my natural hair journey. Both the days of "I'm one fine mama jama" and the days of "Gimme a scissors, I can't take this anymore". But eventually you just learn to take it all in stride and roll with the breakage. 

Third World Black Girl

Let's Start With Some Introductions...

I think that people usually start their blogs off by giving a full bio with their names and hobbies and stuff but yea let's just skip all that. Besides I think that might actually be in my information box...if there is one. Nonetheless, what you should know is that I'm a black girl living in a "third world" country and this blog is going to express the rantings and ravings, opinions and random thoughts of a total lunatic (which just so happens to be me BTW). 

So many people have asked me, "Why Third World Black Girl?" Well it's actually quite simple. That title pretty much sums up who I am and what I'm gonna talking about. Life in a small developing country deemed to be the third poorest country in the western hemisphere can be less than thrilling sometimes. To add to that there are a whole bunch of other issues that come with being a black girl living in a small developing country deemed to be the third poorest country in the western hemisphere. There are the struggles getting a job with an acceptable pay slip to compliment all those degrees you have (and trust me the struggle is indeed all too real), no access to Proactive products which you really need (when you do find them, you'll have to sell your ovaries just to get the cleanser) and let's not forget that your country doesn't have a McDonald's, but let's not even get started on that. 

I know that by the end of this post many of you will be punching into your Google search bars "Third poorest Country in the Western Hemisphere". But I'll just let you do it and call it homework instead of giving you all the answers. That is unless it is also in my information box... I don't even know if people will actually be reading this which gives me quite a bit of confidence to say whatever I want. In the case someone actually reads this then I should give you two little pieces of advice before you consider revisiting to read future posts: 

 Numero UNO... This blog isn't for you if you cannot handle endless amounts of sarcasm and corny jokes. I believe myself to be quite funny. Don't hate... Appreciate. 

 And B... I really don't have any defined train of thought. Neither do I commit myself to a sequential or organized system of operations. As a result, this blog will be a "whenever i have the time or another idea of what to write about or whenever I remember that I have a blog" blog. Content may be a bit sporadic but I'll try my best to actually write about things of consequence.

So officially, Welcome to into the grand canyon crevices of the mind of a...

Third World Black Girl.